Things that make you go 'hmm'…
Tag Archives: empty nest syndrome
Those of you who know me will know that for a long time, my role in life has been that of a mother, housewife, lady-who-lunches, type person. I’m not complaining. I loved being at home with my children and being a full time mother, I considered myself very privileged to be able to enjoy this lifestyle. It was my career. Wife and mother. I loved looking after my husband and I loved being around for my children. I enjoyed being able to attend all their school events and to be able to ferry them to their many after school activities and let’s face it, I admit I enjoyed my days, when I could pootle around, play tennis, meet up with friends and pursue my many hobbies. The only fly in the ointment was the feeling of inadequacy that would flood over me when I used to meet new people and observe their eyes glaze over with boredom when they asked what I did for a living. “Housewife’ just didn’t cut it somehow. Then everything changed, seemingly all at once. Children grew up, husband went AWOL and I sudddenly found myself adrift.
It took me a long time to come to terms with my new circumstances. I suffered from ‘Empty Nest Syndrome’ big style. I had a couple of new relationships, each lasted a couple of years, each one ended abruptly, each break up worse than the last and I will admit, this last year I have struggled after the very sudden demise of what I thought was a wonderful relationship with THE ONE. No matter.
I decided I needed a career, but what to do after 20 years of non-career? I tried training to be a maths teacher but realised I enjoyed training to be a teacher more than I enjoyed the job itself. I started to understand that I enjoy the process of learning new things. It was one of the things I loved about my last partner. He has an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and a vast curiosity about the world. It was something we had in common and we would often contact each other during the day to share something amazing we had read, heard or seen. Encouraged and aided by him, I started to teach myself to design web sites and I also started to make books. The rest is history.
My life has gone crazy. The book I designed for the record company was received with delight and they have ordered 20 (!) more to be used as promotional copies. The first is going to Bob Dylan, the second to Morgan Freeman and another to Bruce Springsteen. I forget the other names – I was in a daze at the meeting! There is a possibility that when the actual book goes to print, they might offer a limited edition, hand bound version by yours truly. In addition, I have been asked to design several web sites, the latest is a new one for an artist friend and it’s huge – contains a gallery of 70 or so paintings. Each one I do, seems to generate interest and I am now charging serious money (as opposed to ‘mate’s rates’). I have been so busy, I haven’t had time to mope or despair at the lack of suitable chaps on internet dating sites or eat (so I am losing weight – an unforeseen but pleasing bonus). I realised today – I have a life. A full, interesting, satisfying life which keeps me busy and fills my days. I have learned a lot and have much more to discover. And when people ask me what I do, I now have something to tell them. (However, shame on you if you have ever thought being a housewife was a boring job!)
You may wonder why this uncharacteristic introspection? Well, it’s by way of explanation about my lack of blogging and my disappearance from your blogs. I heard recently my husband has got engaged to his new girl friend which initiated a huge bout of retrospection, a little sadness but not as much as I would have thought, surprisingly. It is also 2 years since I first started this blog and I was thinking about how my life has changed in that time and doing that rather under rated thing – counting my blessings. I have my wonderful sons, great friends, a new fledgling career (in fact, two!) a nice house, my blogging friends and of course, I mustn’t forget Milo. (How can I? He’s is lying on my foot….)
For the first time in ages, I feel quite positive about the future. The only thing missing is a partner to share it all with but I have even stopped worrying about that. It will happen one day, I hope and in the meantime, I have more than enough things to fill my time. Long may it continue. Back to the jokes next time I promise!